番外:背后(3200)
作品:《催熟》 ?? ??? ???在???「???孽???心???」???公???映???记???者???会???上???惊???天???一???言???的???第???二???百???一???十???叁???天???,???宋???达???一???审???被???判???有???罪???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???应???白???是???在???手???机???上???看???到???跳???出???的???信???息???的???,???随???即???而???来???的???是???铺???天???盖???地???的???朋???友???的???安???慰???、???同???事???的???报???告???和???记???者???的???采???访???请???求???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???过???去???十???年???中???的???无???数???次???,???她???都???在???夜???里???咬???着???牙???,???咽???下???眼???泪???,???想???象???着???那???个???恶???魔???终???于???得???到???报???应???时???的???情???景???,???她???的???恨???意???成???了???爪???牙???,???一???丝???丝???将???血???肉???从???骨???架???上???扒???下???来???,???凌???迟???到???最???后???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???她???应???该???是???快???慰???的???,???应???该???被???复???仇???成???功???的???巨???大???快???感???淹???没???,???应???该???反???复???琢???磨???着???审???判???庭???上???的???宋???达???衰???败???的???皮???囊???和???一???夜???白???了???的???头???发???,???应???该???终???于???能???痛???饮???仇???人???血???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???可???奇???怪???的???是???,???她???并???没???有???什???么???特???别???的???感???觉???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???她???所???有???的???感???情???耗???在???那???次???惊???天???动???地???的???坦???白???中???,???那???种???感???觉???矛???盾???而???怪???异???,???她???的???灵???魂???在???尖???叫???,???身???体???在???颤???抖???,???甚???至???连???视???线???都???镀???上???一???层???模???糊???的???光???晕???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???可???她???不???能???崩???溃???,???她???把???所???有???超???载???的???情???绪???全???部???封???存???在???身???体???里???,???不???是???依???靠???理???智???而???是???依???靠???身???体???的???本???能???,???继???续???说???着???那???些???准???备???了???十???年???的???话???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???时???至???今???日???,???应???白???也???能???记???得???那???种???在???巨???大???情???绪???冲???击???下???,???仍???然???要???依???靠???快???速???飚???升???的???肾???上???腺???素???维???持???冷???静???的???感???觉???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???然???后???她???的???情???绪???被???一???波???一???波???地???消???耗???在???舆???论???不???断???的???起???伏???中???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???连???应???白???都???感???到???意???外???,???自???己???并???不???是???没???有???感???情???的???怪???物???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???尽???管???她???已???经???准???备???了???十???年???,???尽???管???应???苍???林???事???前???已???经???和???她???推???论???好???了???一???切???,???尽???管???她???认???为???自???己???足???够???坚???强???,???但???她???还???是???会???被???伤???害???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???在???任???何???平???台???的???搜???索???框???里???,???打???出???应???白???两???个???字???后???,???跳???出???来???的???不???再???是???她???的???作???品???,???她???这???么???多???年???的???努???力???,???她???获???得???的???各???种???奖???项???,???而???是???“???强???奸???”???、???“???荡???妇???”???、???“???私???生???女???”???、???“???小???叁???”???、???“???捞???女???”???、???“???裸???戏???”???、???“???下???海???”???,???毫???无???依???据???的???传???言???也???被???安???在???了???她???身???上???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???她???出???席???颁???奖???典???礼???的???照???片???被???截???在???论???坛???里???评???头???论???足???,???以???前???被???誉???为???美???艳???的???礼???服???被???重???新???打???上???许???多???标???签???,???“???穿???这???么???少???,???真???不???愧???是....???你???们???懂???的???吧???”???,???“???这???身???材???,???这???胸???,???这???腿???,???要???是???我???我???也???要???冲???,???五???年???不???亏???,???叁???年???血???赚???啊???”???,???“???啧???啧???啧???,???虽???然???这???么???说???不???太???好???,???但???是???那???种???人???生???出???来???的???女???儿???,???基???因???里???都???带???着???缺???陷???的???吧???”???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???连???电???影???里???她???的???强???奸???戏???都???被???盗???摄???,???在???各???种app???里???以???不???见???光???的???方???式???流???传???着???,???甚???至???因???为???戏???虽???然???拍???得???写???实???,???但???她???实???际???上???并???没???有???裸???露???多???少???,???许???多???人???看???过???后???,???骂???她???假???清???高???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???这???些???人???完???全???忘???了???自???己???之???前???是???如???何???像???孙???子???一???样???在???各???种???平???台???搜???索???着???关???键???字???,???谄???媚???地???回???复???着???谢???谢???谢???谢???,???加???了???微???信???发???现???要???钱???后???,???立???刻???又???删???除???,???继???续???在???充???斥???廉???价???广???告???的???微???商???朋???友???圈???里???找???着???资???源???,???宁???愿???下???到???病???毒???,???也???要???不???花???钱???搞???点???盗???摄???的???非???法???资???源???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???最???后???,???骂???一???句???“???根???本???没???脱???多???少???嘛???,???婊???子???还???要???立???牌???坊???”???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???所???有???这???些???负???面???的???舆???论???,???一???波???波???地???涌???来???,???淹???没???站???在???风???暴???中???心???的???应???白???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???尽???管???心???有???准???备???,???尽???管???她???都???明???白???,???应???白???还???是???会???受???伤???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???她???一???边???劝???着???同???事???,???安???抚???着???应???苍???林???,???一???脸???无???关???痛???痒???地???说???着???不???要???试???图???完???全???压???抑???舆???论???的???另???一???面???,???自???己???是???靠???关???注???吃???饭???的???明???星???,???被???议???论???再???正???常???不???过???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???一???边???在???夜???晚???无???端???醒???来???,???在???黑???暗???里???好???久???才???能???睡???着???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???应???白???瞒???得???过???所???有???人???,???同???事???、???合???作???方???、???媒???体???、???粉???丝???,???可???她???瞒???不???过???应???苍???林???,???这???她???自???己???也???知???道???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???或???许???是???因???为???没???有???人???比???应???苍???林???靠???她???更???近???,???或???许???是???因???为???没???有???人???会???这???样???满???眼???都???是???她???,???了???解???她???每???个???动???作???背???后???的???情???绪???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???应???苍???林???没???有???说???什???么???,???他???不???想???让???自???己???也???成???为???应???白???需???要???处???理???的???情???绪???之???一???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???应???白???即???便???在???这???样???的???情???况???下???,???也???装???作???不???在???意???的???样???子???,???这???是???她???多???年???竖???起???来???的???屏???障???,???一???直???保???护???她???破???碎???不???堪???的???心???安???全???走???到???今???天???,???牢???固???坚???硬???,???冰???山???不???化???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???只???是???不???知???什???么???时???候???,???林???林???似???乎???无???声???地???站???在???了???这???道???屏???障???后???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???他???不???会???问???应???白???伤???心???吗???,???不???会???问???她???累???吗???,???也???不???会???安???慰???她???、???说???些???好???听???的???话???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???他???只???是???向???警???方???提???供???了???这???么???多???年???来???他???搜???集???的???宋???达???各???任???任???职???经???历???中???,???所???有???可???能???的???犯???罪???行???为???,???从???贪???污???受???贿???、???行???贿???到???虚???假???招???标???,???从???性???贿???赂???交???易???到???性???骚???扰???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???不???是???从???最???近???才???开???始???,???而???是???从???几???年???前???就???开???始???的???调???查???,???掌???握???了???即???便???是???警???方???都???难???以???一???时???收???集???全???的???线???索???,???尽???管???由???于???身???份???限???制???,???应???苍???林???无???法???调???取???和???收???集???到???决???定???性???证???据???,???但???他???提???供???的???线???索???足???以???让???警???方???打???开???局???面???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???连???那???位???最???关???键???的???受???害???者???重???新???报???案???,???也???是???应???苍???林???避???开???了???所???有???人???先???找???到???她???的???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???贫???穷???、???清???秀???、???不???自???信???,???小???地???方???来???的???女???孩???,???成???为???宋???达???这???么???多???年???下???手???的???类???型???,???方???芳???也???不???意???外???,???她???当???时???还???在???读???大???学???,???靠???着???贫???困???生???助???学???金???才???交???的???学???费???,???她???没???有???力???量???能???够???与???行???业???翘???楚???的???宋???达???较???量???,???甚???至???在???试???图???报???警???后???,???被???挤???掉???了???助???学???金???名???额???,???实???习???学???分???也???没???有???拿???到???,???连???毕???业???都???成???了???问???题???,???找???工???作???也???屡???屡???碰???壁???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???所???以???方???芳???屈???服???了???,???翻???了???供???,???毕???业???找???了???和???专???业???无???关???的???工???作???以???微???薄???的???薪???水???糊???口???,???一???点???点???还???着???助???学???贷???款???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???应???苍???林???两???年???前???找???到???了???她???,???可???女???孩???态???度???激???烈???地???否???认???了???被???性???侵???的???事???,???几???近???崩???溃???地???将???他???赶???走???,???应???苍???林???没???有???再???勉???强???,???只???是???悄???悄???以???自???师???兄???的???名???义???找???理???由???替???她???还???掉???了???贷???款???,???然???后???介???绍???了???一???份???不???错???的???工???作???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???这???两???年???,???他???每???隔???一???段???时???间???,???还???是???会???去???看???看???女???孩???,???尽???管???随???着???生???活???的???好???转???,???她???的???情???绪???稳???定???很???多???,???可???每???次???还???是???拒???绝???了???应???苍???林???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???直???到???应???白???的???告???解???后???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???应???苍???林???再???次???找???到???了???她???,???没???有???强???迫???,???只???是???很???平???静???地???同???她???谈???了???许???久???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???“???我???不???是???想???来???强???迫???你???报???警???,???也???没???打???算???用???钱???来???解???决???你???的???犹???豫???,???这???件???事???很???难???,???稍???稍???一???点???差???错???就???可???能???让???一???个???人???的???人???生???颠???覆???。???”
?? ???
?? ??? ???“???我???承???认???曾???经???想???过???很???多???办???法???,???威???逼???利???诱???、???虚???与???委???蛇???,???说???实???话???,???只???要???我???真???的???下???定???决???心???,???无???论???如???何???都???会???能???让???你???按???照???我???想???的???去???做???的???。???”???应???苍???林???微???微???低???下???头???,???有???些???自???嘲???地???笑???着???,???但???方???芳???不???知???怎???么???感???觉???到???,???他???是???认???真???的???,???他???是???真???的???这???么???打???算???过???,???也???是???长???得???能???做???到???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???“???但???是???我???不???打???算???这???样???做???了???,???我???只???能???告???诉???你???,???前???路???会???很???艰???难???,???也???许???会???比???你???过???去???还???要???痛???苦???,???我???会???尽???我???最???大???的???努???力???让???你???的???信???息???不???受???到???任???何???曝???光???,???也???会???尽???最???大???努???力???让???宋???达???得???到???惩???罚???,???一???定???。???”???他???坦???诚???地???说???着???,???眼???神???清???澈???又???坦???荡???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???“???你.....???你???是???好???人???,???你???和???他???们???不???一???样???。???”???长???久???的???沉???默???后???,???方???芳???挤???出???这???么???一???句???话???,???看???着???自???己???紧???握???在???膝???上???的???手???,???颤???抖???着???说???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???应???苍???林???愣???了???下???,???然???后???笑???着???说???:???“???或???许???吧???,???不???过???我???没???有???那???么???伟???大???,???我???的???善???良???和???勇???气???,???也???是???从???别???人???那???里???借???来???的???。???”
?? ???
?? ??? ???方???芳???低???着???头???,???感???觉???到???血???冲???上???脑???袋???的???晕???眩???,???一???向???怯???懦???的???她???,???不???知???道???是???从???哪???里???来???的???冲???动???,???突???然???问???道???:???“???你???是???为???了.???那???个???女???明???星???吗???????”???她???抿???抿???嘴???,???还???是???说???出???后???面???那???句???话???:???“???你???不???介???意???她.......???”
?? ???
?? ??? ???应???苍???林???似???乎???有???些???意???外???,???他???看???着???在???发???抖???的???女???孩???,???好???久???,???才???说???道???:???“???从???我???十???几???岁???的???时???候???,???我???就???爱???她???,???为???了???保???护???她???,???也???为???了???能???站???在???她???身???边???,???我???才???走???到???今???天???的???。???”
?? ???
?? ??? ???“???她???是???我???见???过???最???勇???敢???的???女???孩???子???,???像???是???闪???着???光???一???样???。???当???然???她???也???有???缺???点???,???脾???气???倔???得???只???会???自???己???吃???苦???头???,???这???点???让???我???很???头???痛???,???但???是...???”???他???低???低???笑???了???下???,???“???连???这???点???我???也???喜???欢???。???”
?? ???
?? ??? ???应???苍???林???自???己???都???不???知???道???,???自???己???说???这???话???时???,???眼???神???有???多???温???柔???,???像???泡???在???热???热???的???温???泉???里???,???让???人???骨???头???都???暖???和???起???来???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???方???芳???低???下???了???头???,???没???有???再???说???话???,???拽???着???膝???盖???上???裙???子???的???手???不???断???收???紧???,???然???后???终???于???松???开???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???那???次???见???面???后???,???舆???论???开???始???有???了???些???转???换???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???拿???着???好???奇???当???作???借???口???,???犯???着???平???庸???的???恶???的???所???谓???法???不???责???众???的???“???多???数???人???”???,???成???了???一???条???黑???暗???而???死???水???一???样???的???暗???河???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???诽???谤???、???污???蔑???、???揣???测???,???甚???至???有???人???在???嫌???裸???露???戏???不???过???瘾???后???,???将???应???白???的???头???像P???得???面???目???全???非???,???在???旁???边???写???着???不???堪???入???目???的???字???,???配???上???哈???哈???哈???的???文???字???发???在???论???坛???里???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???当???恶???意???到???达???顶???峰???,???反???对???的???意???见???,???就???会???像???暗???河???下???面???越???来???越???多???的???石???头???一???样???堆???积???起???来???,???河???流???变???得???奔???涌???,???哗???哗???地???打???在???突???起???的???石???头???上???,???一???层???层???浪???花???飞???溅???,???将???急???流???激???荡???得???变???了???模???样???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???浊???流???终???会???变???清???。
?? ???
?? ???
?? ??? ???应???苍???林???在???某???天???夜???里???收???到???一???条???短???信???:???我???希???望???,???自???己???也???能???变???得???勇???敢???,???像???她???一???样???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???他???在???黑???暗???的???卧???室???里???,???看???着???散???发???着???淡???光???的???手???机???,???回???复???了???两???个???字???:???谢???谢???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???然???后???钻???进???被???子???里???,???从???背???后???抱???紧???了???睡???得???一???身???温???软???的???应???白???,???埋???在???她???的???颈???后???,???深???深???地???闻???着???,???最???后???在???耳???后???落???下???一???吻???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???应???白???并???不???知???道???这???一???切???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???她???只???知???道???,???当???那???些???糟???污???袭???来???的???时???候???,???应???苍???林???陪???着???她???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???当???声???音???终???于???压???倒???性???反???转???的???时???候???,???应???苍???林???依???然???陪???着???她???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???而???当???宣???判???结???果???出???来???时???,???她???发???现???自???己???似???乎???没???有???想???象???中???那???么???激???动???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???她???每???个???惊???醒???的???夜???晚???,???应???苍???林???都???在???旁???边???触???手???可???及???的???地???方???,???他???甚???至???没???有???清???醒???,???却???会???下???意???识???地???将???她???抱???进???怀???里???,???用???体???温???烘???着???她???直???到???入???睡???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???他???记???得???应???白???在???拍???戏???时???落???下???的???每???一???点???伤???病???,???每???晚???检???查???天???气???预???报???,???如???果???要???下???雨???,???就???会???提???前???给???她???按???摩???伤???过???的???膝???盖???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???她???颈???椎???不???太???好???,???应???苍???林???会???强???迫???她???戴???上???可???笑???的???矫???正???器,???应???白???反???抗???,???他???就???会???一???边???强???戴???,???一???边???笑???着???拍???照???取???笑???她???像???卡???了???脖???子???的???海???豹???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???他???比???应???白???更???清???楚???她???的???生???理???期???,???会???备???好???甜???甜???的???红???糖???水???,???在???她???隐???痛???的???时???候???,???躺???在???她???背???后???,???用???温???热???的???手???掌???替???她???按???摩???着???小???肚???子???,???直???到???应???白???迷???迷???糊???糊???睡???着???也???不???停???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???所???有???这???些???琐???碎???,???代???替???苦???痛???的???回???忆???,???一???点???点???填???进???应???白???的???记???忆???里???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???应???苍???林???用???爱???为???她???塑???了???一???层???钝???感???,???那???些???刀???剑???,???终???于???再???也???刺???伤???不???了???她???了???。
?? ???
?? ??? ???宣???判???后???第???叁???天???,???他???们???撇???开???一???切???,???撇???开???所???有???人???,???一???起???去???了???欧???洲???。
?? ???
微博:化作满河星
唯一发布网址popo18,其余均为盗版,请仔细核验地址,<a href=.po18.tw/books/699547 target=_blank>.po18.tw/books/699547</a>